It was the end of June when a  27 year old Brazilian referee in an amateur game pulled a 20 year old soccer player from the field.  The player not liking the call got in the ref’s face.  Reports say the two got into a fist fight which ended with the referee stabbing the player.  As the player is rushed to the hospital in critical condition friends and family bombard the field.  They tie the ref up, stone him to death, quarter his body, and behead him.  The scene ends with the crowd putting his head literally on a stake and posting it in the middle of the pitch.  Don’t believe me read the rest of the story here.

My first reaction was,  ”This could still happen?”   The reaction of my students as we talked about it was, “Oh, that stuff still happens, just not here.”  It is too distant for it to truly affect them.  Still I’m not sure if I am haunted more by the horror of this action, or the apathy in which my youth have reacted.  I am wondering if we are all so desensitized that a double murder that ends with a head literally on a stake isn’t sensational enough to grab our attention?  Awful acts happen everyday.  Movies, television, video games and of course the internet bombard us with so much information we think we’ve seen it all.

So how do we begin to attack this apathy?

 Engage

Just this week I had the opportunity to hang out with one of my students one on one.  As I went to go pick her up, I sat in her living room talking to her Dad as she finished getting ready. What struck me was the importance of engaging the whole family. Spending time with her she admitted some struggles that would not have come out in any other setting. Just waiting for her gave me the opportunity to learn more about her family.

Encourage

Are we showing our students the vision of what God intends? Are we reminding them they are called to more than the mundane of apathy? Encourage your students to still hurt for this hurting world around them. Encourage them to pay attention to what is going into their eyes, ears, head and heart.  This story in Brazil, as well as the others in their backyard, should bother us all deeply.

Enlist

We can’t raise a generation on our own. If we are going to help students see the world differently it takes a village as they say.  I think of the team of young men and women who have traveled from across the country to serve in our inner city day camps this week.  Today one of the leaders shared,”I loved the way we taught each other this week.  It was a picture of the Body of Christ as we all grew as a result of this.”  The teens from Colorado and New York were changed as other adults poured into them.  The youth of our ministry saw again that truth is truth.

This story continues to rattle me.  The fact that things so awful are still happening all around us, and that we barely notice is bothersome.  However, if we work together I do believe we can raise a generation that’s different.

What are you doing to help with the nonchalant attitude of your students?

I am a big kickstarter and Indiegogo fan, I wrote about them here and here. I missed out on being one of the people to help Pebble raise 10 million for they e-paper watch.  It looks pretty cool and has great functionality but I just say a watch that looks better on indiegogo that has even greater functionality.  if you are a stats person (walking, calories, motion, etc) and are constantly using your phone (texting, music, calls, etc) you should check out the KREYOS watch on Indiegogo!

What’s the big deal?

• It replaces activity trackers
• Keep you connected
• get info without taking your phone out
• Info will sync with my smartphone and the cloud
• Voice control
• It is COOL!

It looks like there are 300 left at $129…if it looks cool and meets your needs you might want to run and grab one before they are all gone!  I saw mine $20 ago…

Would this watch be useful to you?

From my heart to yours, friends - 

My back story is that I went from serving a coupla hundred youth to a church where there were nine students from 6th-12th grade. Nine! I had no idea what to do with that. The truth is being the youth director wasn’t even in my job description, but I couldn’t help myself…so we started to casually meet on Wednesday nights for study, projects, event planning, etc. Ya know – youth group. I had NO idea what small churches went through to have any kind of ministry to its youth…but I caught on pretty quickly.

You have a hard calling. Some of you get paid; most of you don’t. Yet all of you put WAY more hours into your youth ministry than many of your churches realize. I would bet that if you had to stop volunteering as the leader and your church had to hire someone to do what you do, they couldn’t afford it on the $1000-$2000 they have allocated towards youth. (Not a complaint; just a reality). You struggle with low numbers, volunteer inconsistency, few resources, no dedicated youth space…and did I mention a small budget? (I know: these struggles are similar to large church struggles, but its just not the same. Try planning an event thinking you’ll have #12 and then #2 show up. It’s different. Try teaching a Sunday school class with 3 students who are spread across 7 years of age.)

Don’t give up. Don’t quit. Don’t think your ministry is any less valuable because its not the “big ministry down the road.” Don’t imagine your impact is any less than a paid youth worker’s. Don’t think you’re not as good at ministry as “the pros.”

Here’s the litmus test: Do you love your kids? Yes. Do you give them the best of what you have to give? Yes. Are you making ministry happen with a “2 fish/5 loaves” kinda budget and resource closet? Yes. Do you have students that are growing, serving, loving? Yes. Are you having fun along the way? Yes. (Usually. There are still church politics, board meetings, etc

You’re doing great. Keep it up. Don’t quit. Get ready for another great school year of ministry to students. How can I help? No, really – How can I help?

Stephanie

Mondays on the SYM Today Newsletter (sign up here) will provide a focus on fueling your heart for youth ministry with encouragement from either Rick Lawrence or Jason Ostrander like Jason’s recent post on Jesus as Youth Leader.

*Sign up for SYM Today newsletter here*

If you’re not signed up for SYM Today newsletter, you missed out on opening your inbox today to “Only Wretchs Need Saving,” a devotional from Rick Lawrence about growing in gratitude for God’s amazing grace in our lives.

Why are you waiting? Just sign up! Its FREE, its useful and has a different focus each day of the week. More on Tuesdays later!

Hope everyone had an awesome weekend! Praying for you guys this week as you love students well.

- Amber

There is no shortage of content on the internet.

Case in point, check out this unique video that is a thematic mash-up of the old video game Street Fighter and the randomness of church ministry:

(thanks to David John Perez for the find)

If you’re like me, you’ll be laughing in an instant. I had a few moments where I couldn’t stop laughing, in fact.

Thankfully, the video is over seven minutes long. This gave me a little more time to think about what I was watching.

I’m all for laughing at myself as a Christian. There are plenty of resources that provoke this, such as media that mocks how church can seem like a Starbucks to great blogs like the one Jon Acuff writes. I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s walked away from such creative content and thought, “I’m so glad to know I’m not the only one who thinks it’s odd that we slap stick-figure fish on our vehicles, and then war it out with evolutionists by making our fish eat their mockery of our fish.”

So back to the video – as I was having fun enjoying the archaic video game sound effects over mass healing services, I was reminded…

those are healing services.

People with real afflictions came in to seek something from God.

They’re desperate. They’ve been given little hope everywhere else.

Granted, in my right mind I wouldn’t go to such stage presentations that seem more theatrical than spiritual. Then again, am I right in my mind about that? If my kid was sick and I heard a guy was coming to town who has a reputation for healing, would I endure the hot stage lights and his hair-sprayed helmet head so my son or daughter could know the touch of God?

“Hadouken!”

(that’s “Street Fighter” for “Amen!”)

What do you think – as we circulate these with our Christian friends or share them with youth group kids…

are we doing more good than harm… or more harm that good?

I’m sure there will be some quick replies on this, and we may even toss out classic ideas like “Balance… everything in moderation.”

So before you answer, consider:

But even the archangel Michael, when he was disputing with the devil about the body of Moses, did not himself dare to condemn him for slander but said, “The Lord rebuke you!” (Jude 1:9)

But among you there must not be… obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. (Ephesians 5:3-4)

Proverbs 13:12 (NIV) tells us, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” Many of us work with broken families with so little “hope” they are the portrait of a dying heart. Survival and entitlement have become a generational legacy.  Honestly, it is easier to criticize these families than to partner with them.

Last week we had two missions teams of youth serving in our ministry.  During morning devos one day I asked students to close their eyes and raise hands if they agreed with any of a series of questions. These students were primarily from upper and middle class suburban families. From this little exercise I learned many students felt disappointed or even hurt by their parents.  One of the youth actually told their youth pastor their “life story” as a result of the trip.  No one knew this precious student was living in poverty, with parents who at best neglected them.

Even in this situation I learned parents have a greater spiritual influence in the life of their children than anyone else.  Our attitude can be dismissive to “certain” families.  Instead, we must take an attitude of equipping EVERY family to grow closer to the Lord.

How?  Teach struggling families using five senses of Jesus:

See:

Someone asked me last week how I live in the inner city, with the families there without losing hope. It would be easy to believe the break is just too deep.  How do I persevere?  Have the visionary eye of Christ.  See each person as Christ is molding them into his image.  Show the parent Jesus and then encourage them in ways they can show Christ to their children.

Hear:

Ask families what they need, or are looking for to equip their children for the future. Listen to the frustrations and inadequacies they are feeling. Hold a brainstorming session that allows parents to tell you how to help them help their family. Find ways to let parents know you are there for them, and are not trying to replace them.

Touch:

After a brainstorming pick one or two practical needs you as a body can meet, and start there.  When a family has a tangible need met, they feel the love of Christ.  What can you do to sit and get to know them, tell them reasons why you love being a part of the life of their child.

Time:

Take time to get to know individual families to learn how to walk with them in their journey with the Lord and their children.  Set up a system of people who build relationships with parents.  Teach parents quick and easy ways they can connect with their kids in 5 minutes or less.

Love:

Those existing for tomorrow forget tenderness.  Encourage parents in ways that they can tell their children how they love them.  Find simple ways to show parents you love them as well as their children.

In everything remember in Christ:

Changed Parent = Changed Family= Changed neighborhood= Changed community=Changed world

What are you doing to reach into broken families?

I’ve worked with 18-25 years olds for over a dozen years now and one of the realities I’ve had to work through is the fact of having to walk alongside parents, too.  This can often be a time of deep relational tension and much of that comes from the hopes, dreams and expectations of parents not being met.  Their child might not be moving in the direction they think is best or had hoped for.  Or maybe their child isn’t moving in any direction at all.

In my book, Worlds Apart: Understanding the Mindset and Values of 18-25 year olds, I list out the 4 following questions that I have asked parents to consider asking themselves.  Maybe you would consider them too:

1. What do I value about my child?
2. Do I allow my child’s life and results to reflect on me so much that they dictate my relationship with and my counsel to my child?
3. Do I really value my child for who he or she is today, regardless of what he or she does or becomes?
4. Do I place a higher value on what I personally want for my child than I do what he or she wants?

If you are trying to deepen your relationship with your college age child, answer these questions honestly.  If you do, you just might find you and your child’s worlds coming together in ways you have always hoped for.

….. that’s why every Tuesday on the SYM Today Newsletter is dedicated to talking about finding that balance of being an awesome youth leader while still loving your family well. Jake and Melissa Kircher provide great insight on the topic. Just check out today’s post that hit inboxes this morning:

*Sign up here for SYM Today newsletter*

We want to provide you free and helpful articles jam-packed with wisdom! Sign up for SYM Today Newsletter now!

Keep caring for your families friends. They love you and so do we!

-Amber

This is just pure fun, from beginning to end.

Then again, maybe this represents relationships, church life and more?

Your pick.

Watch it a few times and picture yourself as each of the three characters. Show it to students and ask them to do the same thing.

Perhaps we say we’re always being kicked, not realizing we also do our fair share of kicking or setting it up to happen.

Enjoy!

That’s right, I said it. There are actually tons of perks those of us fortunate enough to work primarily with young teens enjoy that the rest of the youth ministry nation doesn’t. For example:

- Parents are somewhat interested in what we are teaching on Sunday, where we are going to camp, and what movie we are showing at the lock-in. Yep, that’s actually a perk.

- Most of the stuff you teach is brand new to them! For the rest of their lives when they hear old, worn out, illustrations and stories they’ll think to themselves, “Hey, this dude stole my junior high pastor’s story!”

- Their enthusiasm and energy. I know it drives you crazy sometimes (errrr, most of the time), but the fact that junior highers are almost always “all in” is a wonderful thing.

- They almost always look back at their time in the junior high ministry favorably. For some reason, the further removed from the ministry they get…the better the junior high ministry was!

- You get to cherry pick high school and college age volunteers who already understand your ministry and want to follow your leadership because they spent two or three years in it themselves.

- Junior highers say really funny/awkward stuff:
– “Rachel, our van stopped on the way to the girls trip to feed a Hobo.”
– “Kurt, your nose is big! But that’s cool ‘cuz there’s lots of great smells out there.”

- You are viewed as a Martyr in your church. Sure, many of the adults in your congregation don’t understand why you do what you do, or what you actually do…but they LOVE that you are the one doing it, not them!

- You get paid piles of cash! Ummm….scratch that one.

Add your favorite “perk” of working with junior highers in the comments!

(This is not mine. Ironic that I am reading it while sitting at Gate A12 in Houston. Heading out to teach this weekend in Indy at the end of 3 weeks at home. I need to save this reading for sabbath/vacation times and I’m thinking a few of you do, too. Love, Stephanie)

PRAYER
Grant me grace, O God, to take a risk today, the risk of not being busy. Amen.

During the summer and especially as we have time for some vacation, I think that we should give ourselves permission not to be busy, to rest in the grace of God. It’s an important discipline – one where we remember that it isn’t our productivity which earns us a place in God’s Kingdom. Rather, it is an unmerited gift, offered to us in and through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

I’ll be the first to admit that I struggle with letting go of the “busy” of my life in order to “be”. In many ways, I allow my overflowing calendar to give my life structure and meaning. This week, as I take some days of vacation, my prayer is that I’ll give myself permission just to be – to be a beloved child of God whose been given the opportunity to live and serve in an incredibly beautiful corner of the Kingdom.

(From Rev. Amy Coles, Smoky Mountain District Superintendent of The United Methodist Church.)

Imagine what it may have been like to be the younger brother of Jesus.

- via comedian Michael Jr

I met a youth pastor this summer at a Christian event we were both attending. He was there with his group and honestly? He and his group created a bit of consternation for the leadership of the event. Finally in my Mama Caro style (forthrightness with love), I asked him, “Did you know that you all are known as “that group?” His response? “Yeah, we kinda like it that way” and smiled. Me: “Well, stop it. It’s hurting the leadership.” To his credit, he was shocked because he truly hadn’t realized it from that angle. (They were awesome after that chat.)

Here’s a list of “my thoughts-with love” that might keep you from being “that youth guy/girl” (insert eye-roll) to others in ministry around you:

1) Get your registration stuff in by the deadline. It creates such problems when you act as if its no big deal, when really – it causes so much extra work for other people.

2) Don’t teach your group its OK to break the rules. For example, other groups are trying to go-along-to-get-along in community by being in before lights out. You should, too. (Fill-in-the appropriate group rule.)

3) Don’t at like you know it all because you don’t. Learn from every teaching opportunity because I’m here to tell you that if you think you’ve got it all covered, there are people at your church, even on your team, who would say you don’t. Its way OK, and even healthy, to ask for help or say you’re not good at something.

4) Be a grown-up when you’re with the grown-ups. Remember that being in youth ministry is a professional job. Dress like a pro, act like an adult,  and just do what everyone else is doing. Represent us all well.

5) Everyone is busy, tired, and stayed up late. We’re in youth ministry! We’re all dealing with stuff, so suck it up, don’t sleep through stuff, drink some coffee and deal with the day.

6) When you do mess up, don’t get defensive. Say you’re sorry, learn from the transgression and move on.

7) Don’t use your young age as an excuse. You were old enough to be offered the job and accept it. Its OK to be young in youth ministry; we were all young once, too. There’s lots of grace for that. But being young isn’t an excuse for not doing your job.

8) Don’t use your old age as an excuse. Don’t be cranky or a joy-killer. Lighten up! You’re not too old to hang out with kids or serve or have fun. If you can’t play b-ball with the young ‘uns anymore, its OK. But being old isn’t an excuse for not doing your job.

9) Your church, your leaders, your pastors are not out to get you or your ministry. Don’t rent that kind of thinking too much head space.

10) Do your job or get out. If you’re not feeling youth ministry, that’s OK. Give a month’s notice and finish strong.

I know some of this may sound tough but its not meant to. I’m coming from a place of experience and having made most of these mistakes myself, ‘d like to save you some trouble.

Stephanie

If it wasn’t clear that you guys are awesome, it’s now clearer than ever. OUR YOUTH LEADERS ROCK!

Steve Cullum, a youth pastor at Rockingham Christian Church in Salem, NH, recently recorded a video that has made him famous overnight. What was it you ask?

A lady sleeping on his shoulder on the airplane- a common miss-hap that occurs for many flight passengers, but Cullum was just smart enough to get it on film.

Now it’s viral and even FOX News, among many other news organizations, is talking about it. If you have not seen it yet, then click the image below:

Give this crazy dude some Twitter love and blow up his feed! (@stevecullum)

Thanks for the laugh, Steve! Hope you got as much of a kick out of it as all of us at Simply Youth Ministry did!

-AC

I apologize for the way my mind thinks.

Nonetheless, it occurred to me how youth ministry has evolved over the years in its tone and topics.

What once seemed as innocent and fun as getting kids together…

eventually had a high point where we were all living a crazy season full of adrenaline…

then we became involved with something much more conversational, with topics we never imagined would ever come up with any type of regularity.

Speaking of Ricky Martin…

whatever happened to him?

I mean, he is still around… or has his time passed?

(Yikes, I hope we don’t have that in common, too. Again, apologies for the way my mind thinks.)

What do you think the future of youth ministry looks like?

Ever give a message to a group of teens and afterwards think, “That message was great, I need to add that message to my THAT JUST HAPPENED folder” and then immediately brought back to earth by a kid like this?

I want the messages I deliver to point to Jesus not me…I am not as arrogant as the statement above, but I do have those moments when I think I finally “got through.” I want teens to get it and just when I think I had a break through there’s always the kid who gives me the ” Oh yeah, I guess that was ok…”  LOL, there is no sermon here, this video just made me laugh when I started thinking about kids in my youth ministry.

Videos like this are great for youth ministry announcements, leader meetings, and in our messages, I found this video on wimp.com. If you are looking for fun, funny and interesting videos block off a little time and click over to wimp!

How and where are you finding videos you use in your ministry?

A youth worker recently asked, “Was curious to know where everyone gets video clips for their messages/programs/etc?” It is kind of a no brainer to look on youtube and Vimeo but it is so hard to find credible content.  I do not have a secret formula for looking up great videos for messages but a couple of tips are to…

• Follow the accounts of people you like
• Save links your friends and students send
• Save links from videos that go viral

Saving links in a trusty place (evernote, note app, word doc, etc) can help you find usable content in the future. I mentioned wimp.com yesterday, it is just one of many sites that post tons of videos that are on the viral radar. Do a search for top youtube videos, you will have days of content to sift through and you may find some gems. **Not all videos are above board, guard your heart!**

Here is a list of sites I have used content from. These sites are ministry focused and have great video illustrations, mini-movies, and intros. Try clicking through the list and search their content, most of these videos have a price but if it helps you communicate your message it is probably worth it.

• Worshiphousemedia.com
• Bluefishtv.com
• Skitguys.com
• Videosforstudentministry.com
• Sermonspice.com
• Ignitermedia.com
• Wingclips.com
• GodTube.com (Matty McCage’s favorite)

What sites are you using to get video clips for messages?

I came across this video and it seemed all too familiar.

(thanks to ChurchLeaders.com for the tip)

A few years ago I did a similar illustration of having someone slap me hard as a part of a service. In each of our gatherings, I invited up someone whom I considered a good friend (but who wasn’t in on what was about to happen). I then shared with everyone how hearing “Jesus died on a cross for you” has become so commonplace we no longer realize some of what it means.

Between our two services, I got slapped hard two different times, with each service having it happen at least twice. My cheek was throbbing by Sunday afternoon.

Years later, I’ve heard it was the difference in the faith of one of our (now) key leaders. In his words, “When you let Jon slap you, and then again, I felt the nails going into Jesus’ flesh for the first time in my life.”

Nothing like taking one for the team.

Sometimes we take this too far, though. In one church I was a youth pastor at I had it in mind to have the kids do an altar call while walking through fertilizer. My short-sighted thought at the time was, “It will help them realize all the crap Jesus will walk with them through.” Thankfully, someone much wiser than me interjected and I backed off the idea altogether.

What have been some illustrations like this you’ve seen “work” (or perhaps a few well-intended ideas you’ve watched go south)?

Share your thoughts. Let’s brainstorm and learn from each other.

Small groups was our very first request for a topic (you can send your topic requests to talkaboutym@gmail.com). So here we go!

Small Groups are the lifeblood for many youth ministries, and for good reason! I’ve often said that if I was told by our Pastor that we could only do ONE thing in our ministry the one thing we would do is small groups. Workshops have been taught and books written on the topic, and today we add a few simple “Good, Bad and #SMH” thoughts of our own on the newest episode of “Let’s Talk About Youth Ministry”.

“Does it work?” one of my children asked.

“Yes, it’s plugged into the phone jack, of course it will work,” their grandmother responded.

“How do I use it?” they sat wide eyed.   “Well, you put your finger in the hole of the first number you want to dial and pull it down until it stops, do that with every number until the call goes through.” she explained.

“Can I try it?!?” they wanted to know.

This conversation happened last month between my three Middle School children and their grandmother.  She happens to keep an “old fashioned” rotary phone plugged in.  It’s funny to think a generation not only has never “used” one of these, they can’t recall seeing it before much less it existing in their home.  There was a time when getting in touch with students was as simple as seeing them in person or picking up a phone… that was attached to a cord of some kind. Not so any more.  In person is still the BEST way to communicate with a student or their parent.  However, there are times when we must track them down by other means.  If I want to “know” what’s going on in their lives I have to use different methods. I think this is true of the “churched” and “unchurched” crowd.

It may seem like an oversimplified list,  however to be in the know of my students I literally have to use ALL of the following methods:

The “Old” Faithfuls

Phones and email still remain key ways to communicate. I have one student who loses their phone often, but always checks emails. Another student will only text me. Now with talk to text options on smart phones, conversations are made easy.  There are times when I just need to hear their voice. I always make sure to know if they still have a landline, and who answers it.  These are always are starting places in the dance for communication.

 Facebook

My students may ask if you have an account on “The Book.” (It’s what some of my youth call it.)  Sometimes this is the best way to get a message to a student, or a simple reminder on their home page. Starting a youth group page, or events page for trips is usually the easiest place to get all of your students to check and be held accountable.

  Kik

“Kik” is a texting app that can be added onto a smart phone, ipod or tablet.  The reality is not all of my students have a phone, or their phone service is turned off from time to time.  This texting app allows you to talk to friends as long as you have “wifi.”  Recently, I had a student with no phone, who never checks Facebook or email.  We finally determined she had this account and we could get her info she needed.

 Instagram

More and more of my students are either taking down their Facebook pages, or they simply don’t use them.  Where they are at right now is Instagram.  If a picture is worth a thousand words then this is the place for you to “see” what’s going on in the life of your students.

This may not be true of everyone, however, most of my students currently do not use Twitter.  Vine is the up and coming video looping site and Pinterest is where we go to gather information about an idea. However, the truth is if I really want to “talk” I still approach it “old school,”  I show up and see them face to face.

How do you stay in touch with YOUR students?