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Christian Pick-Up Lines

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Back in my single days, I certainly had my share of cheesy pick-up lines. They ranged from flattering things I heard in songs (“Heaven must be missing an angel  ’cause you’re here with me right now.”) to quick blurbs inspired by the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (“Girl, if you was gravy I would sop you up with a biscuit!”)

(I didn’t say they actually worked.)

christianpickuplinesI’m sure you’ve noticed that being a Christian creates its own subculture of references and “isms.” I wonder if you’ve ever heard or said something as ridiculous as this when hormones meet the holy:

  • “I read the Bible daily. My favorite book is Numbers. Speaking of numbers, can I have yours?”
  • “My spiritual gifts are prophecy and discernment, which means I have a double-revelation that God wants us together.”
  • “Would you like to get into the Word with me? Great. This is my car, and I call it ‘Word’ Where to?”
  • “My multiple e-Bibles take up 85% of my iPod memory. I’ll let some love songs about you have the other 15%.”
  • “Girl/Boy, you are so unblemished that I would sacrifice you.”
  • “You make me want to be a better tither.”
  • “I’m here on a mission trip. But if we can’t be together, I’ll be mission you.”
  • “I’m praying for you. Not just for you, but ***FOR*** you.”
  • “As Christians, shouldn’t we honor all Scripture? Let’s start with 2 Corinthians 13:12
  • “You must be a Bible verse, because I can’t stop memorizing you.”
  • “You… complete me. That is, after Jesus completes me. You’re like the gluten in my communion bread.”
  • “How about we go back to my place? My accountability partner is there.”
  • I’d marry Leah if it meant I’d also get to marry you.”
  • “God told me I can break my fast for you.”
  • “For you, I’d start saying ‘Oh My Gosh’.”
  • “What do you say you and I take up a love offering?”
  • “I’m just curious… what’s your Promise Ring size?”
  • “Wouldn’t it be sad if our clothes weren’t next to each other’s in the rapture?”
  • “Your name must be Milk or Honey… ‘cuz you feel like something I was promised.”
  • “You and I are loaves and fish. Just imagine if we came together and gave ourselves to Jesus.”
  • “Hey, look! Matching Bible covers!”
  • “How about you and I go light a candle together?”
  • “What God thinks about me is infinitely more important than what others think about me. So, what do you think of me?”
  • “Don’t walk away, babe. You may not think I’m perfect but Jesus thinks I’m to die for.”

Got any to add?

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