I think it was at a Willow Creek Leadership Summit several years about that Bill Hybles (http://twitter.com/#!/BillHybels) challenged me to “Read for 30 minutes a day.“ I know this is a DUH statement but, “reading helps me be a better thinker.” It is just like watching other pastors teach, I am challenge by their ideas, it generates new thoughts, and “I don’t know what I don’t know.”  One of my undergrad professors said years ago, “you need to read a lot and read from experts in the field, they ask questions you never thought to ask and give you answers you never knew you didn’t know.”  I am not a reading = relaxing kind of guy. Reading is work, I need to focus, sit still, and take note or highlight. Here are a few ways I get a minimun of 30 minutes in (yes in one sitting).

Twitter:
Spending 30 minutes reading 140 characters does not count but sometimes you get a rich nuggets to chew on.  I use the iPhone twitter app

Books:
I am a Kindle user.  All my eBooks are with amazon, I love it but if I hated it I would be stuck.  Before you start an ebook collection do some research…you will want to keep your library intack for years to come.  I own 2 Kindle devices, and Amazon has an app for all my mobile devices.  If you have Kindle books then all your notes and highlights are searchable and downloadable here https://kindle.amazon.com/.

Articles:
I reading PDF files with iAnnotate PDF http://www.ajidev.com/iannotate/. If you have an iPad and read a lot of PDF documents this app is more than a reader.  Click the link and look at it’s features, t is kind of pricy at $9.99 but this app is robust!

News:
I have looked at a newspaper twice this year…both times were because I got bored in line at McDonalds. If I am looking for news I get it from an app on my iPad like Fox News, CNN, USA Today, or apps like Zite or Flipboard. Get digital YO!.

Blogs:
Google Reader is my favorite feed reader for collecting and reading a lot of blogs (the “J” and “K” keys are your friend!) but it will die soon so I have switched to feedly and when I find stuff I like and want to read later I star it or send it to my Instapaper account.

Logos:
This is my goto Bible app!  I have hundreds of book and I can read & study from nearly all those books directly on my iPad.  I thought it was great taking only a laptop home to study, now all I need is my iPad and maybe a notebook. Portalbe, readable, and accessible! BOOM!  Thinking about getting Logos for some super powerful searching and portable studying? Contact my friend Dave at Logos and tell him Brandon Early sent you.

I am sad that Google is discontinuing Google Reader, what are you using as a blog reader or what will you switch to when Google Reader goes away?

How many of us remember “Baywatch?”   The series spanning over a decade was known for it’s beautiful lifeguards jogging toward the water to save some poor drowning soul.  The running joke of course was that no one cared about the plot.  Guys wanted to see the very buxom Pamela Anderson and girls wanted to see guys with six packs.   Here is the irony.  While the beach scenes were full of two pieces, the female cast always wore a one piece.

In the last couple of weeks I have had numerous discussions about whether or not those of us in youth ministry should dictate the summer uniform of our students.

Bikinis, shorts, and tank tops are among some of what we must navigate.  I recently heard someone say,  “Well my unchurched kids just don’t know any better.”

The easiest approach is to just balk, “Modest is Hottest,” and move on.   However,  especially with our unchurched students if we merely give a list of rules,  they may or may not choose to follow them.  They may or may not care is they are causing another person to “stumble.”  (If they even have a clue what that means.)  So where do we begin the conversation?

• Teach Purity- Not Modesty

Modesty is about clothing, or covering.  At the water we focus on a bikini. Yet, recently a guy told me,  “If I let my eyes linger and my mind wander it really doesn’t matter if a girl is wearing a large sack.”   The ongoing discussion should be on the struggle to understand purity.  This deals with what we allow to come into our soul through our eyes, mind, ears and heart.   It goes way beyond the clothes.

• Year Round Dress Code

I am a firm believer in both dress codes and rules for our youth programming.  Rachel Blom did a great job of spelling this out in her blog here.  This is less about a set of “do’s and don’ts”  and about creating an environment of standards.  These ideals should be posted,  and gone over often.  Expectations should be clear of our consistent students.  New students are informed for the next time they come.  Guidelines help level the field whether churched or unchurched as to what they are “supposed” to do.

The question is less about what goes on our body and what is going on in our hearts.  Our unchurched students may have never been told  any of this before.  Our “churched” students may have heard  but never understood.Most importantly will we explain WHY this is idea is important to us?  In Part 2 we will discuss three questions we must ask every student in the great bikini debate.

Do you allow bikinis in your programming?

It takes a lifetime to build a reputation, and a moment to destroy it.

Have you ever considered what that actually means?

Some things you can’t seem to fully recover from:

• Paula Deen was fired from the Food Network and took a huge hit professionally for racial slurs and jokes from the past.
• King Saul turned away from God so often that the Lord eventually rejected him as king.

Some things you can somehow bounce back from: 

• Robert Downey Jr recaptured his acting career with a whole lot of rehab and second-chances from influential friends.
• King David went public with his confession about committing murder and sexual sin with Bathsheba.

Some things have yet to be realized what the damage will or won’t be: 

• A pastor’s angry rant was posted online for the world to comment on.
• The Bible foretells that in the end times even people within the church will turn aside from the Truth.

The problem is you never can tell which of these three will be how your particular story turns out. What is optional is what you can do in the meantime to avoid even ending up there:

• Write a hypothetical headline today that could appear in your newspaper next week about how you failed and were disqualified from ministry. What does this teach you?
• Ask a friend who won’t just tell you what you want to hear to point out any areas of your life that you’re hard-headed.
• Check with some parents of your students and inquire what their frustrations are about the student ministry.
• Say the names out loud of who looks up to you and how hard it would be on them if you messed up. Pray for them to see Jesus in you.
• Let your family or spouse ask you “why” more often.

Perhaps by doing any of these things you’d realize that your reputation is more important than your “reputation.”

• You play a prominent role in the lives of others who are trying to follow Jesus.
• You play a prominent role in the lives of others who are looking for one more reason to avoid Jesus.

Whether you’re at the top of your game or just starting out, you can be gone in an instant. What can be new is the intentional way you live.

In this era where every moment of your life could be put on YouTube at a moment’s notice, you may be tempted to act like you’re supposed to. Be careful – that leads to hypocrisy.

Meanwhile, the students and adults around you are looking for something real.

Are you more likely to become the next headline… or will you amplify the Good News?

P.S. What makes you so sure?

Most Churches are Small, BTW.

Unless you’ve been in one of my training sessions, you may not know this: 90% of churches in America have 300 members or less. That’s membership, not Sunday worship average which would make that number significantly lower. You’ve heard me say a gazillion times that the average size membership in America is 76 people.

So the point? Most churches were already small-ish and with the “hemorrhaging” (their word, not mine) happening in membership across most mainline denoms, size numbers are getting nothing but smaller. What were formerly considered “medium-size” churches have moved into the top-end of the small category.

Put away your “doom and gloom” faces. This isn’t a bad thing; it just is. In my travels for Ministry Architects (and its Small Church Ministry Architects division), I’m encountering loads of successful small church ministries. I also see a lot of floundering small churches. The difference? Here are a few commonalities among churches doing youth ministry successfully:

1)    Successful Small Churches recognize who they are and joyfully move ahead. My best example is Sugar Creek Presbyterian, Kettering, OH. They do great things with what they have and have created a wonderfully inviting children’s and youth ministry by making it “family.”

2)    Successful Small Churches stick to doing fewer things really well rather than trying to be all things to all people. My best example is in the area of post-high school ministry. Most small churches can’t pull it off so don’t try. Find some larger churches doing great stuff in this area on other days of the week and give your college/young adults permission to attend.

3)    Successful Small Churches still raise the bar to excellent in doing their youth ministry programming. Being small isn’t an excuse to let ho-hum programming acceptable. Creativity is everywhere and so are technology friendly people.

4)    Successful Small Churches have a good attitude. No, they have a great one! They’re willing to take risks, they don’t moan and groan about their size, and they’re willing to try something new.

Really, small church ministry will become more and more the norm and resources for ways to live out church will be needed. Let’s make the most of it, friends.

Stephanie

Not long ago a youth pastors forum I am a part of discussed the “bikini” issue.  It became a lively debate on how each of us handled the topic.  My favorite response was from a guy who currently serves in Europe.   He talked of culture responding,  “I wish they would wear two pieces here.  Yes it’s a one piece, only the bottoms for men and women.”   This one statement has stuck with me as I have talked about the need for appropriate swimwear with both my youth group and my own children. It made me realize that as we discuss the topic of dress in any way we must ask our students three questions:

• When it comes to dress, is this a “girl only” issue?

Answer:    NO. We over focus on how visual guys are.   A girl dressed in just the right way causes them to think in the wrong direction.  However, a “hot guy” minus his shirt will garner the same response.  While in America, we usually don’t have to ask guys to avoid speedos,  let’s recognize everyone is  looking at each other.

• Why are you wearing it?

Answer:  Is it the style or are you trying to be “seen?”    When you look around a beach there are women 8-80 in two pieces.  Guys are wearing certain things to make the girls “swoon,” or are they.  We can argue cultural norms,  however, why are you wearing what you wear?

• What are you doing to stop the madness?

Answer:  We can place so much emphasis, especially on girls, to watch what they wear we can miss a vital teaching point.  Responsibility falls on both sides of this issue.  When we put on clothes,  we should be learning how to be pure in this area.  HOWEVER,  those peeping need to take responsibility for their lingering look.  So pose to your students: will they consider others when they dress AND will they work on where their thoughts wander when they see those around them?

These questions should be posed to all our students. I work with primarily unchurched inner city students,  and I work with them on this.  It’s a journey in learning to follow the  Lord,  this is one piece of the puzzle.

 What questions would you ask?

I recently hired a junior high pastor for our church. The process was long and tiring but now I am nearing the finish line…just one more thing to do before I close this file. I need to communicate the hire.  The levels I need to communicate to are:

• My team (Verbal Communication)
• Church Staff (Digital Communication)
• Congregation (Digital/email Communication)
• Parents (Mail, and Parent Meeting)

My Team:
This was easy.  They knew I was looking and even met with candidates as I was bringing them in. That said, it is easy to assume that those closest to you just know…sometimes they don’t. It is important to keep those close to you in the loop.

Church Staff and Congregation:
I sent the same basic letter to church staff, the congregation, and our parents. Our staff received and email and our congregation will hear about the hire through the website and our eNews email.

Parents:
Parents did not receive any digital communication, they have access to the web and will receive our eNews, they received a parent letter. The added communication to parents is in the form of a parent gathering.  Cookies, carbonated beverages, coffee and a brief introduction with lots of mingling. This personal touch is so important for parents.

Here is what we sent in our parent letter:

Junior High Parents!

As you may know, we have been searching for a junior high pastor for nearly a year; a person to partner with parents, train up students, and bring a fresh wind into our junior high ministry.  After many hours of seeking, sifting, meeting and praying we have found God’s person for the position.

Please join me in welcoming (PERSON’S NAME) as our newest youth ministry team member.  (PERSON) will be taking the Junior High position as of (DATE).  He will oversee the entire junior high ministry at (CHURCH OR CAMPUS NAME).

(NAME) grew up in (TOWN). He has been serving as the (PREVIOUS JOB OR SCHOOL) at (CHURCH NAME OR SCHOOL NAME) in (TOWN) since (DATE). During his time at (CHURCH OR SCHOOL) (PERSON’S NAME) has attended (SCHOOL) working toward a (NAME OF DEGREE) degree.

I am eager for (PERSON’S NAME)’s arrival and am excited to see how God shapes student ministries in the months to come.  Please pray for us and with us as (CHURCH NAME) student ministries moves forward in this new season.

You and your junior high student are invited to come meet (PERSON) at the (CHURCH OR LOCATION) on (DATE) at (TIME). Refreshments will be served. Hope you can come!

Grace,
Brandon Early

Final Thought:
Youth ministry gets a bad warp for beings irresponsible and too silly at times.  When communicating to parents I raise the bar on professionalism, I want them to trust me with their kids so I don’t try to be edgy and super funny in letters to parents. I recommend that if you add a photo of the person you hired, I wouldn’t choose one with him or her in a suit and tie (which may be appropriate in your setting) but I also wouldn’t send out an obnoxious, crazy pic either. This is all a precursor to building trust.

If it will help you, feel free to download a template of my “New Staff Parent Letter” here.

Jesus used “everyday” material for His parables to tell people about the Kingdom of God.

You can teach your students and leaders to do the same thing by snagging pictures with your camera phone, throwing up on the screen and asking “What message or values does this communicate?” You can even bring them into this process and teach them to engage culture by having them shares the pictures they found throughout their week.

For example, I encountered a “Sinful Colors” display at a local store.

Colors include “Set the Mood,” “Dark Room,” “Mardi Gras,” “Boom Boom” and…. (strangely enough) “Innocent.”

So… what message or values does this picture communicate?

One of the best things we can do for junior highers is to normalize their experiences. One of the worst things we can do for junior highers is to generalize them….to assume they are all basically the same.

When we normalize in a healthy way, junior highers begin to realize stuff like:
- “I’m not the only one who has some conflict at home.”
- “I’m not the only one who sometimes doesn’t feel like I fit in.”
- “Other people have questions about God, too!”
- Etc.

But if we aren’t careful we can generalize students in ways that hurt our effectiveness:
- When you say things from stage like, “I know how much you ALL love video games.” or “I love how outgoing you ALL are!” Good intentions; but chances are not everybody in your youth group fits such broad categories.
- When you strategize or plan your ministry assuming every junior higher needs the same things.
- When you decide that no junior highers like games. Or that ALL junior highers like games.
- When you “force” a student to participate in something that they don’t want to because you know it’s what junior highers need.
- Etc.

Junior high ministry can be like painting a mural: You need to use both a broad and a fine brush…figuring out when to use each tool effectively is a skill we all need to master!

I’m in churches all the time because of my consulting work with Ministry Architects. The church sizes vary from “ginormous” to “could fit into a 15-seater van if we were still allowed to use those.” But small churches are my first love and here’s what I see that breaks my heart.

1)    Too Close-Knit: Its true that on the “plus side” of small church youth groups is their ability to know everyone. But all too often, I see groups that are so bonded, no one new can get in. The ultimate result? The bonded kids graduate and you’re wondering where your ministry went. Teach your students how to welcome new kids and what to do when they bring someone new themselves. Have a clear check-in, welcome and follow-up process that involves more than the adults.

2)    Dying Children’s Ministry: Churches bring me in to help their fledgling youth groups and that’s wonderful…but 80% of the time, the biggest area of need for a dying youth ministry is in the 3^rd-5^th-grade children’s area. That’s where the mass exodus begins and if it isn’t shored up into a vibrant sustainable ministry, then there’s no feeder interest once they reach the bridge for going into junior high.

3)    Low Quality: Some churches use the excuse of being small to offset putting any effort into making a quality youth event. Low/no technology, haphazard control docs, poor transition in events, etc. This is the one time where I give you permission to do it like the big churches would; think about what they would do and try to emulate their example within the resources you have available. Look for ways to make things sharp, smooth, and savvy.

4)    Misplaced Expectation of the Youth Ministry: Too many churches assume that the youth ministry will save their church. First of all, only Jesus saves. Secondly, a healthy youth ministry comes from the healthy investment of the church as a whole. So in basic math: church>youth ministry. Don’t expect the youth ministry to attract and bring in the people that the larger body isn’t willing to go out to meet themselves. Get out of the pew!

Stephanie

A healthy relationship with your senior pastor is a core part of a healthy youth ministry.

It doesn’t matter if your church is large, medium, small or a start-up – your roles can powerfully complement each other if you each discern how to powerfully compliment each other.

A lot gets in the way of that, and it isn’t just about ego or insecurities. Sometimes you both become so busy that a disconnect happens over time. The good news is you can nurture something healthier, starting today.

Here are four questions you need to ask your senior pastor to get the ball rolling:

• “How often do you want to meet, and what for?”

  In one church I served in, my senior pastor wanted to meet each week so we could synergize our efforts together. It was full of great encouragement and brainstorming. I instigated that pattern in the next church I served in, only that senior pastor found it annoying to meet every week. It ultimately degraded our relationship as he assumed I didn’t know how to do my job and needed extensive coaching. Make sure you both know how often you need to meet and what the purpose of that time will be.

• “Do you need a safe place to just vent?” 

  When I made the transition to become a senior pastor, I suddenly became aware of perspective I was clueless about as a youth worker. This space is too small to list it all, but I will simply say that it adds up and isn’t always something you can debrief with your spouse about. Offer your senior pastor the chance to dump out what they’re sorting out, be it as a spiritual leader, parent, organizational boss or a human being. Honor that with confidentially and prayers.

• “How can I serve you this week?”

  You’ll likely be surprised by the answers you hear and don’t hear to this question. As I asked this of my senior pastors I’d sometimes get a quick response, such as “I really need someone to teach this class for me. Can you do it?” Other times I had to pull out something of them by saying, “It seems like you and your wife haven’t had a date night in ages. Can I watch your kids on Friday so you can go out?”

• “Who can I confront or encourage to help you out?”

  This may be the most awkward question you ask, but it can be the most therapeutic. Your senior pastor has a network of relationships that are similar-yet-larger than yours. You can help pour water on flames that need to be put out and gasoline on the fires that need to grow. Be willing to confront a critic or help spur on the most recent volunteer.

This is obviously not a comprehensive list, but maybe it gets you started. It also helps you better live out Hebrews 13:7: “Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you.”

What are some questions you’ve identified that we all need to be asking?

Asbury Park, NJ courtesy of APP

As many of us attempt to get our students serving this summer, there is often a “trip” of some kind planned.   We plan, give packing lists, and prepare their hearts for  what’s ahead.   As the youth leader we are very focused on what OUR youth will get out of their time, and how it will impact them for eternal transformation.  This is the way it ought to be.

However…

This summer I am on the other side of the mission’s trip.   As an inner city ministry in an area devastated by Hurricane Sandy, we have gotten an inundation of groups wanting to come and be with us for a week.  It has been interesting to be the bridge between those coming, and those who will receive help.  This has got me thinking

As you take off for your trip have you considered what your APPROACH will be?

To The Situation You Will Serve:

It is important to prep your team for the situation they will encounter as much as possible.  What will they see, smell, experience?   Some circumstances of abject poverty or desolation will be shocking.  When you arrive at a site the focus needs to be totally on those you are giving to, while processing your own reactions to the time there.  Students need to be prepped to take the work they will be offering seriously, to stay consistent in their time and efforts,  and to debrief with you in the evenings after their days.

To The People You Will Be Serving:

Destitute people in difficult situations rarely define themselves this way.  Are we giving or stripping a person of their dignity?  Make sure you approach every person you serve with respect and honor.   Before you make any assumptions ASK a person what they would LIKE for you to do for them.  Our opinions of what we feel someone might need,  isn’t nearly as important as the way they will receive our offering.

To The Partnering Site:

Even if you are going with a missions organization there is a group on the receiving end.   Are you respecting their methods and approach to ministry?  Are you asking them what THEY would like from you?  Communication, and follow through of their requests is vital.  Remember they were here before you came and they will stay after you and your students  go home.

If there is one piece of advice I can leave you with it would be this.  Remember, it is a privilege and an honor that a community has invited you in to be with them.   Sometimes we and our students need them really more than they need us.

I’m beyond excited about the brand new LIVE; YEAR WITH JESUS small group curriculum! Two big reasons:

* Because most “junior high” ministries are now actually middle school focused, there has been a need for a third year of material for this age group. While this study can be used for any age group, it was written by some of the sharpest junior high minds in the country…so it has a little bit of a junior high flavor.

* Because “More Jesus!” has been a drum I’ve been beating in our own ministry for a couple years. In fact, our junior high ministry now dedicates our small group teaching ENTIRELY around Jesus Christ. So I’m thrilled that LIVE is ready for us to implement.

Here is what your students will discover together about Jesus over the course of the year:

Oh…and do you also work with pre-teens? Check out the new PRE-TEEN LIVE curriculum right here.

In my experience college ministry is viewed by most pastors as a luxury, not a necessity.  That is, unless your pastor has kids that age.

But the truth is in most contexts it’s not seen as a necessary ministry for a healthy growing church.  In this way it’s entirely different than children’s and student ministry.

Now, if you know anything about me you know I couldn’t disagree more.  I’ve seen the impact a college ministry can make on a church and now, as a pastor of a church myself, I know it’s vitality for our churches health.

So, here are 3 things I hear pastors say as to why they don’t view college ministry as a priority for the church they pastor and a few thoughts on why I think they are dead wrong, regardless of what context they minister in (how’s that for bluntness?!).  The three biggest push backs I hear from pastors are a lack of numbers, lack of money, and they simply feel disconnected.  So, here are a few thoughts for each of those:

1. Not enough students.  Many pastors say they don’t have enough people in this stage of life in their church to start or fully fund a ministry.  This is especially true for churches in more rural areas where people move away to go to school.  I understand this logic if we view this ministry through a programmatic lens.  However, if we view it relationally, these are people we have invested a lot into over the years.  And continuing to cultivate a relationship with them is not only beneficial, it’s our responsibility.  That said, let me ask a purely logical question: how many junior high students do you think a church would if they didn’t have a ministry specifically for them?  Or, how many high school students do you think would be a part of the church if there wasn’t a ministry for them?

1. Not enough money.  If we really want to talk about money in this context (which I’m hesitant to do, but it’s a fact of life), then I will bring up two quick points.  First, I think we need to view them as missionaries for the next generation.  Churches usually reserve money for “missions,” so why wouldn’t we view those moving away to go to school as being the same?   Secondly, college students may not directly contribute a lot of money, but they certainly do indirectly.  They are some of the best volunteers for children’s and student ministry and, we all know, these are critical to bringing in families.  When families come, so does funding and the stronger these two ministries are the more families that come.  It’s that simple.

1. Not enough personal connection.  Pastors that have kids in college see the needs of their children, but if they don’t have children this age most of the time they lack personal connection to the needs.  This is why you need to expose them to students, relationally.  I have college students in my home all the time because I want to make sure I stay in tune with their needs and desires.  Find stories of both trial and victory to expose your pastor to…when your pastor feels either, support is soon to follow.

I’m Stephanie. I’m new to MTDB. I don’t know many of you. You don’t know me. But here’s my heart on the eve of July 4th, 2013. It won’t be theologically brilliant, nor youth ministry philosophy astounding. Its just what’s in my head tonight and I want to post it in honor of tomorrow. A bullet point list is how my brain is registering it so that’s what you’re gonna see. Those that know me know that’s how things roll in the swirl known as me.

1) I’m delighted to be free to spend the day with my family. Although summer camps and youth mission trips are my fave, I’m home on 7/4 for the first time in 5 years.

2) I’m delighted to be free to talk with my sister about how God loves her like crazy, didn’t cause her cancer; in fact, He is walking along side her for every oncologist appointment or chemo visit.

3) I’m delighted to be free to decorate my home today in honor of tomorrow’s celebration. Its not as much the red, white and blue – its the fact that I can own a home and I’m so grateful to God for a roof over my head.

4) I’m delighted to be free to go to the grocery store in the morning to shop for a special meal for whoever tramps through Casa Caro tomorrow. I’m thankful for the food and that mine seems to be a home where people know they can come.

5) I’m delighted to be free for one day from a “job” I dearly love. Normally, I get to spend all my time working with youth workers, churches, youth parents and youth themselves just sharing what I know after surviving for 33+ years in the biz. Tomorrow, its all about my loved ones, a cookout, fireworks and movies.

I just found out I am NOT free to light off the brick of firecrackers within the city limits that are sitting here on my desk. What to do, what to do?

Have a delightfully free day!

Stephanie

It’s the 4th of July. In America, it’s a national holiday.

If you’re reading this from another country, enjoy your day. This may not apply to you.

(But feel free to let it apply to you.)

But if you’re an American… you don’t need to be reading this today.

It’s okay to tell your students, “We’re not meeting tonight, and my phone is off. It’s a holiday. Spend time with your family.”

It’s also okay to say, “We’re grilling out at my house instead of meeting tonight. It’s a holiday.”

It is even acceptable to power down your computer and create an away message that says, “I’m unavailable for now. It’s a holiday. The world doesn’t need me to know everything that’s going on.”

However, I would personally recommend on other approach. Tell your family:

“I’m not working today. I’m completely yours. It’s a holiday. How can I serve you?”

The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” (Ex 33:14)

You have probably seen this.  It isn’t particularly new, but a friend of mine put this on my Facebook wall last week and I loved it.  Not only did it make me laugh it made me realize I could use it with students, volunteers, and as a training tool.

Watch it.  Laugh.

Watch it again.

Write down the top three thoughts that  strike you from the video.

Think about how you will use that as a spring board for a lesson you want to bring home to your students or a point you have been making with your team.

Enjoy!

I am a fan of the iPhone app FlightTrack Pro and TripIt. I seem to have seasons of busy travel and these apps help keep all my travel plans centrally located. TripIt is free, if you don’t mind ads, but FlightTrack Pro is $10 (their is a $5 version…but go big or go home!).

TripIt takes your trip details (confirmations from hotels, airlines, etc) and creates a helpful itinerary right on my iPhone (or Android). It will sync with your calendar app and online at tripit.com. After you have registered an email address with TripIt you can simply forward any of your confirmation emails from that address to plans@tripit.com. You do not need TripIt for FlightTrack Pro to work but FlightTrack Pro will seamlessly use all your Tripit data…COOL!

FlightTrack Pro allows you to see flight details on zoomable maps and get real-time departure info, delays, and gate numbers.  This app has been super helpful when I am traveling to a youth ministry conference, flying out to speak at a retreat or events, or taking teams on a mission trip.

A Few Highlights:

• Sync’s with TripIt and phone’s calendar
• Share flight status by email, Facebook or Twitter (parent win!)
• Offline mode for use in airplanes – maps still work!
• Airtime, aircraft, and speed & altitude (Nerdy Flight Stats)
• Real-time status for gates, delays and cancellations

If flying is your things you might want to check out FlightBoard too, it helps when monitor connections, delays, and arrivals ($4).

How is this app free? Well, I went to Starbucks today and saw that the $10 FlightTrack Pro app was their free app of the week.  That means you need to get to a Starbucks before Tuesday July 9th and grab a “Pick of the Week” card. If you do not have a Starbucks near you post a comment asking for a code…I grabbed a dozen to share.

If your aim is to get fired from your job at your church, do these five things:

1) Whine all the time: Complain about how you can’t get any help, the SP doesn’t understand your job, or how some families are out to get you. Please don’t develop a Phil 4:4 attitude.

2) Blame other people: Make it the students’ fault or lack of budget or missing volunteers for why you can’t pull off anything but lackluster programming. Never let the words, “I’m sorry that happened. I take the responsibility” ever flow past your lips.

3) Use “I’m disorganized” as your personality platform: Look how well this has worked for other youth leaders in the past. But you’ll have to stay away from EVERYTHING app-related since there are so many organizational tools out there for the unorganized person.

4) Get involved with Church Politics: This is especially productive for those situations where the 4-generation family in the church is involved. Over-sharing is recommend here.

5) Don’t communicate anything: Please avoid the church bulletin, newsletter and church web page. I mean, after all-your students aren’t reading that stuff, right?

Maybe I should add a 6th one on sarcasm. It’s REALLY helpful in small church youth ministry.

Stephanie

YOUTH WORKERS: I realize that mostly youth workers will read this post. Not sure how you’re going to “accidentally” send the link to the parents who will need to see this most…maybe a typo in the bulletin?

PARENTS: Moms and Dads: You love your teenager. You want the best for them from their experience at church. (I have 7 kids of my own.) So do we or we wouldn’t be investing time on this blog. But did you know that dealing with high maintenance parents is the #1 reason many youth workers leave a church or the youth ministry all together? I know you don’t want that, either. Every time the ministry leadership rolls over, your teen suffers and so does the ministry.

So I’ve developed a list of “suggestions” – areas, traits and conversations you’ll want to avoid or adopt so you don’t become “that parent” – the one that drives a youth worker into consuming excessive amounts of mountain dew and skittles or spiraling downward into one too many mindless episodes of “Storage Wars.” Let’s stop the madness!

1) Don’t be the parent that doesn’t pay attention to the info the youth director sends home. Your youth director has enough to do the 48 hours before a trip to stop and go over the details that were covered in the multiple posts, texts, bulletins, letters, etc. Need info? Call the parent that always knows everything.

2) Don’t be the parent that wants “out of the norm” rules or guidelines for your child: When there are multiple families with multiple “home rules” involved in the ministry, the leaders have to find the middle ground that meets the most needs. Don’t be the one that expects rules to be looser or tighter for your child. Although you have just your child to be concerned for, your youth ministry leadership has to find a common boundary for all. Examples: Whatever the deadlines are, obey them. Whatever the swim suit policy is, abide by it.

3) Don’t judge the effectiveness of the total youth ministry by your child’s sole perspective and experience: Your teen may have just had a bad night. It doesn’t mean that the night was bad for everyone. And lets face it, some teens fit in better than others and some have fussier tastes in what they like or don’t. Know who your kid is and weigh your evaluation with a little of that salt in mind.

4) Do tell the youth worker what you like about the program: No one rarely comes into the youth office to say, “You’re doing such a great job, Miss Youth Leader. Thanks for giving up a week with your family to take my kid to camp.” Nah, its more often like, “Why didn’t my 17 year old come back with the same luggage he left with? Wasn’t it YOUR job to make sure he got his stuff on the bus?” (This exact conversation happened to me after a week at camp at…I’m not going to tell you.)  Here’s a rule of thumb: For every complaint or criticism to the youth worker, you must say 10 positive things or 5 things if said with the gift of a  Starbucks Frapp in your hand.

5) Do wait 48 hours after a trip before bombarding the youth leader: They’re tired. They need to do laundry. They may have another job they have to catch up on. However, this wait time can be reduced to 24 hours if said bombardment is in the food, flower or frapp form of a “thank you.”

Stephanie

picture courtesy of iburnout.com

It has happened to me.  Lying in bed at night exhausted and spent staring at the ceiling I wonder “why” I’m in ministry anymore. Honestly, in various seasons of life the push has been different.  Sometimes I have lost sight of the reality my calling is to my Savior not to my “to do” list. Other times my focus has become on the circumstances that cause stress.  As someone in ministry I’m never to mutter what is really going on in my heart.

Burnout, there I said it.

According to an Aug1, 2010 article in the New York Times:

• Members of the clergy now suffer from obesity, hypertension and depression at rates higher than most Americans. In the last decade, their use of antidepressants has risen, while their life expectancy has fallen. Many would change jobs if they could.

• 40% of those in ministry and 47% of spouses are suffering from burnout, frantic schedules, and/or unrealistic expectations.

• 45% of pastors say that they’ve experienced depression or burnout to the extent that they needed to take a leave of absence from ministry.

• 70% don’t have any close friends

• 90% feel unqualified or poorly prepared for ministry

• 94% feel under pressure to have a perfect family

• 90% work more than 50 hours a week

• 1,500 pastors leave their ministries each month due to burnout, conflict, or moral failure.

As if to prove the stats, I know I could answer “yes” to many of those statements.  In the past week alone I have had four conversations with some who are at the breaking point, or have fallen apart.  One ministry leader had an affair and no one even suspected, another had a mental breakdown, and one set is in the midst of a divorce.

If we are to combat these “curse words,”  where do we begin?

1.    Acknowledge The Reality:

We feel like there is no one to tell.  Those we minister to, with and for want more of our time not less.  Are you grappling with an ongoing bitterness, or resentment towards your schedule, spouse or circumstances?  Have you lost your passion for Christ and your ministry?  Do you continually place blame on your leadership for “not allowing” you to slow down? Has your identity become wrapped up in your “role” more than being a child of the living God?

2.  Know the Signs:

According to Cathy Gates director of Transformation Leadership International there are three telling signs that we are headed for a breakdown:

• Emotional and physical exhaustion: You feel worn out physically and emotionally. You have no energy; feel depleted, debilitated and fatigued.

• Depersonalized response toward others: You find yourself displaying negative or inappropriate attitudes toward people. Your sense of idealism disappears. You are irritated by others much more easily.

• Reduced sense of personal accomplishment: You experience reduced productivity and low morale. You find yourself withdrawing from your responsibilities and from others. Your ability to cope with day to day stress is significantly decreased.

Our first steps to “undoing” this struggle is to begin to bring it into the light.  If you have grappled with burn out, what are the first steps you would take?

Take a look at tomorrow as we discuss daily steps we can take to get back from this place.