My guess is that your head is where mine is today. I feel a deep sadness from stories of youth ministry losses over the summer. Students on planes and buses are gone in crashes while traveling to/from camp. A youth pastor and his wife die a mile from the church in a bus crash after a great week at camp. Other stories of death and loss emerge daily as youth groups venture out into the world to live in community.

One story that hit really close to my heart is the death of a young youth worker from the KC area. He went out running last Monday night and didn’t come home. His body was found several days later in an outdoor toilet near a middle school. Cause of death isn’t known, but it doesn’t really matter anyway. A family has a hole torn in their heart and the church community mourns. His name was Chad Rogers.

I knew Chad. I was invited in last February by the Missouri United Methodist Conference to do a training day for small church youth workers and Chad was there. He was engaged, listening, responding, enthusiastic and stayed afterwards to chat. I really had nowhere to be…so I stayed. We sat together, along with our host, and chatted through his life and ministry history. Chad friended me on Facebook and of course, I accepted. He was a delightful young man.

Now he’s gone. Well, gone to us. When I process life-moments like this, my default reaction is to wonder, “What can I do? How can I help? I have to do something! I don’t like this; I don’t like it one bit, God!” It’s the Mama Caro in me.

A few days have passed and the answer has come. You and I keep doing what we do. We keep talking to youth pastors. We plan a little extra time after a seminar to have a cup of coffee. We take the phone call we’re too tired to take. We post a few check-in notes on FB everyday to other youth workers. We text other youth friends. We make youth workers’ network meetings a priority. We love and care for each others like we’re an episode of “Band of Brothers” on HBO.

It won’t bring Chad back. It won’t bring back the youth pastor and his wife in the bus crash. But it will encourage other youth workers to “press on towards the goal” till God brings them (and us) to Him. While here among us, they’ll know somebody gave a ____.

That’s what we can do about it.

Stephanie

I have been using Zagg products for a long time, I have purchased several Invisibleshields over the years (Droid, iPhone, and iPad) and I love my Zaggsmartbuds. I want an Invisibleshields on anything I hand to a student or my kids…it is just better that way.  I have used shields, buds, cleaning foam and keyboards…It is all quality!

Before you check out this video you need to know that I have TWO FREE $25 gift cards to give out to one of you and all you need to do for a chance to win is comment. You can also get a few bonus entries for Instagraming, tweeting and facebooking.

1 entry
Comment on this post sharing the title of the BEST YOUTH MINISTRY WORKSHOP you ever went to or make up a title of a WORKSHOP YOU WOULD ATTEND if it existed (Yes, I know what I just did).

Possible 2nd, 3rd, and 4th entry (not neccessary, it just give you more chances to win)
Post on instagram, twitter, and/or facebook the exact comment below, that is how I will find you!

If you’re a youth worker CLICK http://www.morethandodgeball.com & http://www.simplyyouthministry.com. I know you’ll love them, I DO!!! #MTD #youthministry #stumin

Possible 4th chance to win!!!
Create a Vine telling me why I should…Actually, I do not care what you do on Vine, just make me laugh.  I will give another $25 gift card to that person! While your app is open follow Simply Youth Ministry’s Vine.

Be sure to tag your Vine with #MTD #youthministry #stumin and mention @brandon early so I can find you!!!

I will announce the winners Friday around noon!  Get Crackin’!!!

Conversation has to happen at every level of our churches about the relationship between the Church and the LGBTQ. The BARNA group will be releasing a study on how the views of Christians are changing toward the LGBTQ movement soon.  If you’d like to read an article about this from the Washington Post, click here.  LGBTQ would include at least the following groups of people: homosexual, lesbian, asexual, bi-sexual, transexual, the small amount of people born gender-ambiguous…and those that are “questioning” their orientation (that’s where the Q comes into the equation here).  These are all representative sexualities that are making up a powerful coalition to seek legally recognized freedoms and ultimately social relief from shame.

If this seems more complex to navigate than ever before that’s because it is.  Tomorrow I will post 3 mistakes we cannot make as we seek to navigate this conversation.

For now, here is a graphic that the BARNA group put out (as posted in the Washington Post article above).

Do you live near Lima, OH or Columbia, SC?! If your answer is yes and you still have not signed up for the Big Day of Serving happening in your area on September 21, 2013, then you’re are LAME! But if you change that by signing up today then we will revoke your lame title and give you serious cool points! Not from Lima or Columbia? Don’t worry! There is definitely a Big Day near you too this Fall, just check the website for other dates and locations. Here are the Top 5 Reasons why you should get your students to Big Day of Serving this Fall:

#5- Students will be a part of something bigger than themselves.

#4- You get to do missions… locally!

#3- Everyone gets a free T-shirt!

#2- We handle all the programming; you get to build relationships with students.

#1- Your students will grow closer to Jesus as a result of their service.

*Sign up here for Big Day of Serving*

Don’t know enough about Big Day of Serving to want to sign up? Watch the video now:

Now is the time to sign up to get your students helping the community through the Big Day of Serving on September 21, 2013! You do not want to miss this opportunity to mobilize your youth ministry to service and to transform lives.

If you ever had trouble explaining why we use so many different forms of social media this infographic might come in handy.  It’s funny, so true, and might make a great opener at your next parent meeting.

**I want to give credit to whoever created this cool infographic but I have no idea.  If you know who, please give a link and the credit via link in the comments!

It is time to STOCK UP on incredible titles from Simply Youth Ministry. For today only, select titles are only $3.00 a piece!! You spend more than that on your latte every morning. With such awesome savings, you can buy copies for your student leaders, friends, volunteers and other friends of your youth ministry. The sale encompasses some of our top books from the Everyday Youth Ministry collection!

How’s that for a Wednesday treat for ya?! Have a great one. As always, we love you guys.

- Amber

I sat in a planning meeting today with several caring local professionals. They hope to host a youth summit in our area, and our conversation eventually centered on the desired outcomes of the conference. We began brainstorming  what we want to see happen in the students involved. In other words, “Who will they ultimately be when they leave this event because they were a part of it?”

After several minutes on that line of thinking, I raised my hand and offered an observation:

“It feels like we’re trying to create a bionic teenager. I don’t know if everyone remembers that old TV show the Six Million Dollar Man, but there was this concept in its opening theme that it feels like we’re sharing here – that we have the means to make students better than they were before… ‘better, stronger, faster.’

I think everything we’ve talked about are great values for kids to grow into, but if I were to force this on my own son he’d feel immense pressure because he can’t get there overnight (let alone consistently). Maybe we need to include the values of ‘rest’ and ‘journey’ somehow? Students can take steps this way, but they may need to intentionally pause along the way and take stock of their progress so they don’t crash because they feel they’re not yet perfect.”

My thoughts were met with enthusiasm, not to mention a lot of affirmation. I felt like I’d made a real contribution to the discussion.

Only…

I wondered how often I’ve not had that thought in ministry. Maybe you can identify:

• “Once kids go on this trip, their hearts will be forever transformed for Jesus.”
• “If I can only get that student baptized, then he/she will become a role model to the others.”
• “The more often students are consistent with youth group attendance, the more consistent they’ll be with Jesus.”
• “They have to start (reading the Bible/praying/fasting/tithing/singing) more if they hope to have a real breakthrough.”

Even just writing those made me realize how absurd they all are.

And yet… don’t thoughts like that creep into your head and planning, too?

The thing about bionics is that something unnatural was added to appear natural.

Hmm. Is that the end?

What do you think is reasonable and unreasonable to expect in these matters?

In our ministry we have a rule.  No cell phones in use while the students are present and our programming is in action.  This rule goes for volunteers, staff and participants.  Unless you are using a “Bible App” to look up scripture, we shouldn’t see it,  and yes I check it.   This summer as we have had a number of our teens actually volunteering in our elementary age day camps I have seen something interesting.  At 2:00 the moment program ends and the last child walks out the door,  cell phones immediately emerge!  It’s like the texting/social media/ smart phone zombie apocalypse has taken root.  Heads are down, eyes ablaze as they catch up on all the pertinent information they have “missed” in the last 4 hours of “no phone zone.”

As I have text to talked or been FB direct messaged on major life issues I just have to wonder if scripting every thought is an easier way to go?  Since TONE doesn’t exist well in word/online communication a lot of drama erupts that could be avoided with at least a phone conversation and even more so with facial expressions and body language in play.   In short, I think we need to encourage students to learn how to sit down and use their voice once again.

Please hear me.  I am not anti-text/social media connections.  What I am seeing is that this the “goto” method of “talking.” I wonder if we are raising a generation that avoids face to face communication? Have they forgotten how to speak?

Can we do anything about that?  Here are some starting places:

• Meet With Students One on One:

When I started in youth min, my mentor would say,  “If you want to get to know a kid take them out for a soda.”  What we did or drank was arbitrary.  The point was being present with each other.  Sit face to face, make eye contact and talk about deep issues,  outside of programming.  If at all possible draw in other adults and small group leaders to do the same.  Begin to teach, that this is the way we handle the “toughest stuff.”  It’s unscripted, raw, messy and uncomfortable.  That’s good.

• Encourage Parents To Draw Lines.

I get it. The battle for independence with anyone from 6-12 grade is constant.  It’s also part of adolescence.  We drew up “electronic contracts” for our kids that not only included appropriate use, but times when cell phones are not “allowed.”   This has helped tremendously.

• Be a good example:

I admit it,  I can be the worse at this one I was convicted even recently about how if I want to teach students the importance of communication beyond written form and the need to put the cell phone aside when talking to someone,  I have to step up and do the same.

Students need to learn to have a full conversation,  face to face conversation when they are totally present.  There is a place for tweets, Facebook, email and text, it just shouldn’t be the ONLY way we talk to each other.

What are YOU doing to help this generation learn the art of “in person” communication?

Okay, I’ll admit it; there are things about junior high ministry, and junior highers in general, that I just don’t like. It’s the stuff that I’ve tolerated for 25 years because of my love for, and calling to, this wonderful age group. Here are just a few things that make me cringe:

- The “Steal The Cute Boy’s Hat” game that girls love to play. You know the one: Girl steals boys cap and boy proceeds to chase said girl all around the youth room. Why do I loathe it so? I have no idea.

- When a junior higher, usually a girl and usually one with sticky hands, sneaks up from behind me, covers my eyes and makes me guess who it is. I know it’s a way of showing endearment, but yuck. Of course, if I was just a little taller my eyes would be out of reach which is why my junior high ministry buddy, Scott Rubin, has no idea this ritual even exists!

- The relentless questions by some students that just don’t need to be asked! Hey, I’m all for inquisitiveness and discovery…that’s a really fun part about working with young teens. But I’m not talking about that stuff; I’m talking about the kid who, while at camp, fires a barrage of unimportant, or previously answered questions: “When is lunch?”, “What do we do during chapel?”, “Why isn’t there any fruit loops?”, “How long is free time?”, “What do I do if I get bored?”, “Am I allowed to get a drink of water on my own?”. You know the kid I’m talking about.

- Close Talkers. I’m apposed to close talkers of all ages, and I think the habit starts in junior high when students are dying for attention and want to make sure they are getting it….in an up-close and personal way. So, in an effort to prevent them from a life of extremely awkward conversations (of course, close talkers don’t find it awkward AT ALL), I simply don’t tolerate the practice. I’m cringing just thinking about close talkers.

- That game they play at the table at camp…the one where they move their cups around and stack them to some sort of beat. I’m sure this dumb game has a name, but I’ve never stuck around in its presence long enough to learn it.

I’m sure there are other things that make me cringe, but those are the ones that came rushing to my fingertips as soon as I started to type.

Here’s your chance to vent (it feels pretty good, and it’s okay to do once in a while…). What about junior high ministry makes you cringe?

Take a moment and think of “that kid” in your ministry.  Every youth worker has at least “one” in their midst.  They are:

Too Needy

Too Clingy

Too Much

Too Loud

Too Immature

Too Angry

Too Out of Control

Too apathetic

Now you add yours.  We want to say we “love” them always and it is a joy to have them in our group.  This is what we WANT to say.  In our heart of hearts though,  they are “too.”    If  we are honest we look at them through one lens and that is who they are today.  It’s true, I have looked at students and in the depth of my very small faith seen only “that kid.”  What if Jesus saw us all this way?  How would it affect our heroes of the faith?

Peter was too rash.

Jeremiah was too emotional.

Abraham was too old.

Paul was too legalistic.

Mary was too much of a nobody.

The Israelites were too prone to wander.

Gideon was too much of a wimp.

Timothy was too young.

David was too much of a boy, too musical, & too selfish at different points.

Mary Magdalene was too much of an outcast.

All 12 disciples were too ordinary.

Everyone that God has ever used as been “too inadequate,” including you and I.

Working in an inner city environment with “at-risk” students the reality is most of my students are “that kid,”  and their parents are “that parent,”  and they are “too many” things to count somedays.

This summer a volunteer asked me,  “How do you live here, working with these families day in and day out and not lose hope?  It seems like change is slow.”  My answer was and is that I choose to see each one with the visionary eye of Christ.  

For when he looked at those above Christ didn’t see the issues as much as He saw.

The Rock

His prophet

The Father of Nations

His Apostle

His mother

His people

His warrior

His missionary

His man after his own heart

His woman who would follow Him always

His best friends, and the first evangelists.

It wasn’t that he “fixed” them and they stopped being “That kid.”  Instead,  He used them in spite of their weaknesses when they became HIS.  He knew His glory would shine through each life miraculously.   He has done that for me.   For you.

Here is the struggle.  The Bible DOES NOT say that at some point when they grow up and get it all together He will use our teens. Trust me when I say,  that teens are very capable of picking a part their own short falls.  In their heart of hearts they wonder if they will ever “make it” themselves.  Instead, when the Lord calls us to belong to Him that is the moment He calls us into life with Him. He uses us just where we are and loves us too much to allow us to wallow in our insufficiency.

I wonder if we can ask the Lord to allow us to see our students,  all of them,  as Christ does:  His.

How would this change the way we approach youth ministry?

How we navigate this conversation will determine a lot in the future for the Church.  I would say this is a critical time and one that we must take very seriously.  Here are a few things I believe we must keep in mind as we converse with people about this subject:

1. Make God’s transformation priority.  The only thing guilting or shaming people into conforming their behavior accomplishes is bitterness toward Jesus or us being attacked – or both.  In this conversation we have to embrace our theology at very practical levels.  Sanctification is God’s job (Philippians 1:6).  We cannot confuse God’s transformative work in a persons life with a person who conforms their behaviors so that they look like they’ve been transformed.
2. Be careful to not judge non-Christians.  1 Corinthians 5:12 is very clear that it is not our place to judge people “outside” of the Church.  We cannot expect people who are not believers to act like believers.  Additionally, there are countless people within the Church that need to be walked with in this struggle and wrongly judging people severely hinders that.
3. Truth is a Person.  In John 14:6 Jesus says that he is the truth.  In other words, truth is not morality nor is it simply doctrinal statements.  Truth is summed up in a Person and his name is Jesus.  That to say, as Christians, we proclaim truth (Jesus) to a lost world, not behavioral standards.  This line must be walked carefully.

Tomorrow I will post one more blog on this topic and then we will be on to the next…

Back in my single days, I certainly had my share of cheesy pick-up lines. They ranged from flattering things I heard in songs (“Heaven must be missing an angel  ’cause you’re here with me right now.”) to quick blurbs inspired by the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (“Girl, if you was gravy I would sop you up with a biscuit!”)

(I didn’t say they actually worked.)

I’m sure you’ve noticed that being a Christian creates its own subculture of references and “isms.” I wonder if you’ve ever heard or said something as ridiculous as this when hormones meet the holy:

• “I read the Bible daily. My favorite book is Numbers. Speaking of numbers, can I have yours?”
• “My spiritual gifts are prophecy and discernment, which means I have a double-revelation that God wants us together.”
• “Would you like to get into the Word with me? Great. This is my car, and I call it ‘Word’ Where to?”
• “My multiple e-Bibles take up 85% of my iPod memory. I’ll let some love songs about you have the other 15%.”
• “Girl/Boy, you are so unblemished that I would sacrifice you.”
• “You make me want to be a better tither.”
• “I’m here on a mission trip. But if we can’t be together, I’ll be mission you.”
• “I’m praying for you. Not just for you, but ***FOR*** you.”
• “As Christians, shouldn’t we honor all Scripture? Let’s start with 2 Corinthians 13:12“
• “You must be a Bible verse, because I can’t stop memorizing you.”
• “You… complete me. That is, after Jesus completes me. You’re like the gluten in my communion bread.”
• “How about we go back to my place? My accountability partner is there.”
• “I’d marry Leah if it meant I’d also get to marry you.”
• “God told me I can break my fast for you.”
• “For you, I’d start saying ‘Oh My Gosh’.”
• “What do you say you and I take up a love offering?”
• “I’m just curious… what’s your Promise Ring size?”
• “Wouldn’t it be sad if our clothes weren’t next to each other’s in the rapture?”
• “Your name must be Milk or Honey… ‘cuz you feel like something I was promised.”
• “You and I are loaves and fish. Just imagine if we came together and gave ourselves to Jesus.”
• “Hey, look! Matching Bible covers!”
• “How about you and I go light a candle together?”
• “What God thinks about me is infinitely more important than what others think about me. So, what do you think of me?”
• “Don’t walk away, babe. You may not think I’m perfect but Jesus thinks I’m to die for.”

Got any to add?

Share yours below.

Heyooo Simply Insiders

You heard Billy! All the cool kids are doing it!!** Be like the millions texting these days and use it to get your youth group all on the same page!

Just wanted to take a moment to chat about the Communicate feature of Simply Youth Ministry TOOLS.

This is an incredible resource to help you correspond with the numerous sects under the umbrella of your youth ministry that you need to get a message out to on a daily basis- parents, volunteers, students, fellow youth pastors- you name it! The concept is simple. Create groups that would need similar information. From there, you can text each group with event details or announcements or even prayer requests. If you deem it worthy to talk about, then you can use this TOOL to communicate it to all ears who need to hear!

There you have it peeps!

-AC

    ** DISCLAIMER: The views of Billy Madison DO NOT reflect the views of Simply Youth Ministry or Morethandodgeball.com  hereby making neither party liable for this video’s inappropriate or cool kid content. Thank you.

Laura Ortberg Turner, daughter of John and Nancy Ortberg, has some great thoughts on what it means to be (but not really be) known as a “Pastor’s Kid.” One takeaway is the framework she felt her parents placed her and her siblings into. Turner writes:

“Had we not gotten freedom from our parents to be the people we were—to grow and learn for ourselves and even occasionally embarrass our parents, as good children do (a famed family incident at a church in Southern California that involves my then-5-year-old brother lying on his back, thrusting his pelvis to a children’s worship song called ‘Jumping Bean,’ comes to mind)—we would likely have ended up feeling like our only two possibilities in life were becoming the mantle-bearer or the rebel.”

I’ve spent a lot of energy making sure people know the first names of my family members aren’t “The Pastor’s wife” or “The Pastor’s kids.” So much of that can be overturned by a well-meaning youth leader who isn’t conscious about unconscious behavior.

Consider how we help or hinder this in youth group circles:

• Do you unconsciously think it means more if a senior/staff pastor’s kids do/don’t attend the youth group?
• When a “PK” acts up, are you quick to share about it with volunteers, in staff meetings or at home?
• Are you eyeballing such students for the moment when they either declare their own calling to ministry or rebel like a pop star?
• How often do you make sure we mention them as the “pastor’s kid” to new youth workers who jump in?

The list of negatives can go on, so let’s brainstorm some positives:

• Let them be known for who they are versus who their parents are.
• Allow them the chance to share their own stories and journey versus assuming things from illustrations shared from the pulpit.
• Try not to put them in positions where they’re a secretary for you or one of their parents. (i.e. “Can you pass this key along to your dad?”)
• Give them a safe ear to share their questions (or even disinterest) in spiritual things, even if it means moving your schedule around to meet with them in private.

(Maybe we should apply each of these to every other kid in the youth group, too.)

Got any more tips?

Share yours below.

Rhetoric is a part of this conversation whether we like it or not.  I don’t want to get overly intellectual here, but I do need to explain one thing.  In today’s world, if someone is against same-sex marriage (or for traditional marriage) that person is being viewed as a bigot and oppressive.  This is powerful rhetoric that can apply a lot of pressure on Christians.  It will require us to be very careful with the words and tones we use in conversation.  It’s almost viewed as hateful to be “against” this or to be “for” only traditional views of marriage.  That to say, what we say and how we say it in the world, and more pointedly in relationships, is going to be critical.

Here are 2 things I think we should keep in mind if we want to navigate this conversation well:

Respect people.  If we want to be respected for our beliefs, we must also respect people who have different beliefs.  This is a fact of life: people have different beliefs.  That’s inevitable in so many ways and we ought not freak out when it happens.  But my point is that we can respect people even though we believe different things.  Again, the goal is not to judge the morality of non-Christians (see 1 Corinthians 5:12), but instead to proclaim the excellencies of God (1 Peter 2:9-10).  We are not pointing people toward proper behaviors.  We are respectfully pointing them toward Jesus.

Not condemning people doesn’t mean we condone their actions.  I have plenty of friends who are currently in same-sex partnerships.  I make sure I articulate what I believe in loving and respectful ways that keep our relationship in tact, where there is mutual respect for each other as human beings and where the doors for the gospel to penetrate are still left open.

My prayer is that we, as the Church, can navigate this conversation well and in a humble way that would honor Jesus.

Hey Simply Insiders, we have a sweet guest post today from our friends Jake and Melissa Kircher. Read up!

 By Jake and Melissa Kircher

Whatever you call it: volunteering, serving, a two-for-one, ministering, or just plain old helping out…the spouse of a youth pastor is often expected to jump into the ministry world with both feet. Sometimes this works well for a couple, and their marriage thrives in this type of environment. But there are also plenty of spouses who feel forced into youth ministry roles that don’t mesh with their personalities, talents, and/or spiritual gifts.

So does the spouse of a youth pastor have to serve in the youth group?

Well no. And yes. No, you don’t have to be the volunteer equivalent of your youth pastor spouse, but you do need to fully support their ministry. You’re in this marriage thing together, and so you must be in agreement about major life goals and decisions. And as any youth pastor will tell you: Youth ministry is a way of life!

What does this mean practically? It means that each spouse has unique gifts, talents, and abilities and should use them accordingly. If the non-ministry spouse doesn’t feel they are supposed to work with youth, this should be communicated to church leadership. The spouse can then integrate into the church in a different area. The church’s governing bodies must support this, or it will lead to numerous issues both in the ministry and in your marriage. Take it from us; we learned this lesson the hard way.

But the non-ministry spouse should be supportive of the youth group—even if he or she isn’t a regular volunteer. They need to be on board with the job and all of its ever-changing demands, quirky hours, and challenging students. These kids will be a part of your life as a married couple, no matter what, and just because you’re not a youth leader doesn’t mean that you can check out of church life. Figure out ways that you can interact with youth groupers and also be yourself. Maybe this means mentoring one girl or boy. Maybe it means bringing your own children with you to youth group once a month. Or simply having a teenager and his/her family over for dinner when the opportunity arises.

You have to be yourself, even if that’s not a youth worker. But you also have to love, support, and embrace the fact that youth ministry will definitely be a part of your life.

-Jake and Melissa Kircher

Fall is almost here, and with it comes all sorts of opportunities to kick your school year off well. Unfortunately, many youth groups, coming off a busy summer season, squander the chance to leverage the start of another new school year. Want to ensure you have a forgetful fall….a lackluster school year launch. Here are some tips!

Don’t try anything new. You might have some pretty decent fall traditions in your youth group—stuff you’ve done ever since Paul Revere was in junior high. But even good traditions and successful programs get stale and boring after a while. I think it is often better to mix things up….even at the risk of the new stuff not being as good as the old stuff…than it is to be predictable. If you want your students to quickly forget the fall, just do what you’ve always done.

Make poor assumptions. It’s easy to assume that your volunteer team feels equipped and empowered for the fall. It’s easy to assume that families and students want a slow fall. It’s easy to assume the awesome summer camp stories you shared with the elder team will carry you through until Christmas. It’s easy to assume that your pastor isn’t really paying attention to the youth group in the fall because he/she didn’t pay much attention in the summer. Instead, look for ways to proactively address these and other areas of your ministry that will help build momentum heading into fall.

Neglect your soul. If you’re like me, the fall is usually my personal “dry season.” Because we try to plan for a great fall during an already busy summer, our youth ministry team always seems to hit the ground sprinting when fall arrives. As a result, I find that it’s really easy for me to neglect my soul. I tend to spend less time in the word, less time at the feet of the Father, and less time resting during the fall. And when I forget to nurture my soul, forgetful ministry results.

I know your summer has been a busy one, and I hope it has been full of God’s richest blessings upon you, your family, and the ministry you lead. As the school year approaches, plan now to try some new things, refuse to assume things are what you think they are, and commit to nurturing your soul…and you just may have a fall you’ll never forget!

-Kurt

This past week I led an activity with my teen small group. I asked them to write down at least 5 things they don’t like about yourself.   Next to that I asked them to write down 5 ways they keep messing up, and wish they could stop.  We then opened our Bibles talked about our sin, our need for a Savior, and His plan for us. Finally, I asked them to write the word GRACE over everything on their page.

Here was mine as an example:

As we talked I was reminded of something I read recently by Kara Powell on the topic of Sticky Faith, “As we have examined 500 youth group graduates to see how families and churches can build a faith that lasts it’s become clear that most kids equate faith with a list of “do’s” and “don’ts”. When (note I said when and not if) young people fail to live up to those behaviors, they run from God and the church—just when they need both the most.”

It struck me as one 13 year old boy became emotional during the study declaring, “I feel like I just can’t stop messing up.”  I wonder if we (the church, parents, all of us) are not only subconsciously expecting perfection from our teens (or Bionic as Tony Myles would say. Read his earlier post on the idea here) but are we teaching them about failure?

• No One Is Righteous- NO NOT ONE…

Teach what this statement made more than once in the Bible means. I have told my uber perfectionist daughter on more than one occasion that if we could “get it together,” we would have no need for an ongoing relationship with a perfect God who loved us enough to conquer death.

• You Are NOT ALONE

I said to a 16 year old just this week, “What’s funny to me about teens is that everyone thinks they are the ONLY ONE to make mistakes, while even the ones that seem to “have it all,” are figuring out ways to hide their inadequacies.  That feeling never goes away.”   Remind them you still mess up.  There isn’t a point where you finally get that list of do’s and don’ts totally right

• Mistakes vs. On Purpose

An analogy I often use is, “Choosing to not study for a test and failing, is different from a pop quiz gone wrong.”  We will all mess up from time to time.  However, there is a difference if we keep playing the “how close can we get to sin without sinning ,”  or “what can I get away with” game.

• Guilt vs. Repentance

Guilt is a feeling, that keeps us weighed down in our  failure.  Repentance turns us away from sin, embraces Grace, brings us closer to the Lord, and a genuine heart change occurs.’

• Celebrate Failure

Try to teach students “what did you learn through this misstep,” and then coach them for “next time” on how to approach things differently.  A mentor of mine asked the questions above followed by, “How did others see Jesus in that?”

Kara Powell in the same article said her family practices saying something profound,  “Jesus is bigger than any mistake.”   The ongoing conversation needs to be that Christ WANTS us even when we slip.   He doesn’t love us in spite of ourselves, but because we are created in His image.

One 14 yr old summed it up well at the end of our study by praying, ““Thank you Lord for taking our trials and mess and molding them into something beautiful.”

What will you do to help  your youth fail well?

No more depressed sighs of “ugh, it’s only Wednesday.” One very special camel has changed this for everyone, embraced Wednesday as his favorite day of the week and made us all laugh. Click the video below to catch his contagious passion for “Hump Day.”

Wednesdays are often not the easiest for youth workers. Many of you are gearing up for tonight’s events as we speak by planning relay races or nasty food eating contests and prepping your new student-led worship band. All the while, you are simultaneously studying up and practicing delivery for your own message to hopefully spiritually challenge your students in the middle of their week.

THIS IS A LOT. We get it.

It’s no wonder that Wednesdays are the most exhausting day of the week for you, however, this is also often the most impactful day of the week for your students. Keep the focus on Jesus and the fact that your students are growing in their walk with Him through all your efforts, and watch it fuel you through this crazy day week after week.

So let’s celebrate the life change that is happening today, run around our offices like the goofy Geico camel and make Wednesdays our new favorite!

We are praying for you guys and love you a lot!

-Amber

You don’t want your ministry to grow anyway! There isn’t the budget for it, there aren’t enough volunteers, and frankly – yours is a traditional church that likes things the way they are. So be sure and do the following things this fall as your youth ministry starts up again. This way, your first-time visitors won’t come back for sloppy seconds:

1)  Be sure to make your youth room hard to find. Don’t mark what door to come in and heaven forbid – don’t have signage!

2)  Forget (or never learn) their name. Dude and bro will work for a long time, even on the girls.

3)  Change an event’s time or location without telling them. Showing up to an empty room says, “We don’t care about you.”

4)  Pick on them in front of the rest of the group. Oh, and make them stand up to introduce themselves.

5)  Miss the signals when they’re not fitting in with the other kids.

6)  Don’t have them sign in and don’t get follow up contact info.

7)  Create your own “inner circle” and leave them standing on the outside looking in.

8)  Assume they know the “inside jokes” or stories.

9)  Don’t add them to your event mailing list, ESPECIALLY the fun stuff.

10)  Continue planning boring youth meetings using out-of-date technology and stale teaching methods.

That should do the trick.

Stephanie

PS: OR if you’re a rebel and want to have a positive “visitor flow process,” check out this chart:http://ymarchitects.com/137/samples